Crowing
by Prismatica
Summary: Four character tell of their 'secret' loves and life at Hogwarts. Songs are implimented throughout the stories for better meaning and the reader must guess each one's love by the subtle hints.


Crowing  
  
"You get over regret  
You were sleeping with the angels  
He was under the bed  
And the more skin that you shed  
The more the air in your throat will linger   
when you call him your friend...  
Staring at a cold little hand  
reading fault lines  
of a shell of a man  
you were waiting for a word from above  
wouldn't you know it,   
no answer ever did come  
And it was never a question he was crowing for repair  
you'd give him love and affection,  
but you couldn't keep him there."  
  
  
She loved Hogwarts. She did. Honestly and truly. Hogwarts made her whole,   
complete. It was there that she would transition from a bossy little girl to a   
sensitive woman. She would finally have friends. Friends who cared about her,   
sometimes more then they did about themselves, and she about them. But most of   
all, she loved him.  
  
In the beginning, she thought that Ron was him, but with the passing of   
her fourth year, was also any romantic feeling for him. She visited Viktor   
Krum in Bulgaria, she had her first kiss. She refused to let him put his   
tongue in her mouth. She didn't like him that much. In the end, Viktor grew up   
and she stayed a little girl with bushy hair and a bossy voice. She cared very   
little when he broke it off, but it still hurt. No one likes to be rejected.   
  
Throughout the course of her fifth year she would find a great many   
faces to admire, but none stood out prominently, except for one. But she would   
not allow herself to think that way about him. It just wasn't possible. There   
are some things that should never change, and should always remain the same.   
He was one of those things. And slowly throughout fifth and sixth year,   
despite her very intelligible notions and ideas, the feeling for him would   
begin gnawing away at the pit her stomach, as if she had been fasting and her   
stomach acid had been resigned to feed on the lining of the very organ who   
hosted it. Heartache and stomachache seem to go hand in hand. The way you feel   
as if you just missed a stair when walking down them, feels exactly the same   
as when that special someone walks by, or even says hello. How oddly emotions   
and the body are connected. Hermione liked to deal with facts, emotions she   
decided were a weakness. At least in her, as she had always been a little   
emotional. Those two brats made her that way. She could remember crying over   
their arguments between each other as much as her arguments with them. They   
were very precious to her, those two boys. But not as precious as just him.  
  
"...Something inside is telling me,  
that I've got your secret.  
Are you still listening?  
Fear is the lock,  
and laughter the key to your heart.  
And I love you.  
I am yours, you are mine,   
you are what you are,  
and you make it hard..."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I spend too much time,  
raiding windmills.  
We go side by side,  
laugh until it's right  
There's something that we both show,  
waiting with the life boats..."  
  
She loved Hogwarts. Loved it. Hogwarts made her feel truly alive. It was where   
she learned to forget about petty little insecurities. It was where she   
learned to forgive instead of holding grudges.   
  
She would mature with something approaching skill and grace. Everyone would   
notice, even him though he would pretend not too.  
  
She used to think Harry was him. Until one day she opened up her beautiful   
brown eyes and saw Harry staring at her with the same adoration and caring as   
her brother Ron. She cried a little, but she moved on. Until her fifth year   
nobody could take his place.  
  
In her fourth year, Ginny became a people watcher; a mere wall-flower who   
watched the masses and then made her own assumptions and analyzations as to   
what was plaguing each subject. She knew that Hermione was fighting her   
feelings. Ginny understood, she really did. But Hermione was over analytical.   
Facts can be flawed when not depicted correctly. And Hermione's facts towards   
her feelings for him, were most inaccurate and flawed. For someone so brave,   
intelligent, and clever, she was still such a silly girl.  
  
Ron lived oblivious to everything, bless him. He wasn't thick really,   
just merely sedated it seemed. Ron was happy all in all. Sure, he complained   
about being poor, about not having the riches that in his mind he thought that   
he deserved. He sometimes felt lowly and second best when compared to his   
brothers or Harry. But all in all, Ron was happy and content with life; for if   
anything his being overshadowed and his lack of the finer niceties made him   
strive to be better. It made him work harder, and in the end, though he may   
not have realized it, it made him content.  
  
Then there was Harry. Harry she would think sadly, no one has to be brave   
all the time. Everyone cries and everyone knows that you're not as happy as   
you seem to be. Everyone but you. Harry lived in a state of denial that would   
have boggled most psychiatrists, but not Ginny. For although she was new to   
people watching, she had been Harry watching for years. She worried about him.   
In her sixth year she would discover that this worry was not love. It had   
taken close to six years, but she finally broke free, and loved Harry openly   
as her brother.  
  
"...I spend too much time seeking shelter,  
World without end,  
Couldn't hold her.  
There's something that we both show,  
waiting with the life boats.  
Baby anywhere the wind blows,  
It's all worth waiting for..."  
  
When Ginny learned that Harry was not the one, and had finally found him;   
she found a freedom. She hadn't told him yet how she felt, but she would. He   
would agree. She knew he would. She saw the way he watched her when he thought   
she couldn't see, the way a smile threatened to break through if he wasn't   
careful to appear null and void. It made her ache for him worse then ever. She   
did not blush like she did with Harry, though at times, she felt as though she   
may vomit.   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"It's getting to the point where I'm no fun anymore  
I am sorry  
Sometimes it hurts so badly I must cry out loud  
I am lonely  
I am yours, your are mine  
you are what you are   
You make it hard..."  
  
  
He loved Hogwarts. It was the only place he had ever really felt happy.   
It was the only place he had ever belonged. It was where he had made the   
transition from a scrawny little boy in baggy clothes to a striking young man   
who was much respected by his peers. It was where he had finally started his   
inner healing, until he found her.  
  
He had always known her. They had always spoken, but she had always faded   
into the background against all the others. Then one day he truly noticed her.   
Not just her, but everything about her. The way she smiled, and the way she   
laughed; the only times she threw caution to the wind and relaxed. He felt   
that throughout their years at Hogwarts that they had all built walls around   
themselves. Love your friends but no one else. He, Ron, Hermione, and even   
Ginny all seemed to move about their daily activities reveling in the days   
delights, whispering fervently and angrily about its disappointments. None had   
moved apart from each other. They stayed a close circle of friends, with no   
lines crossed. He wondered if they felt as he did. If they too, were in a   
strange and forlorn way, afraid to love.  
  
More then anything else in the world, Harry longed to be loved. He had   
been liked, but never loved. He wondered if she loved him, if she ever could.   
He would never have the strength to ask her though. He just wasn't strong   
enough, not anymore. For with each passing year Harry lost a little bit more   
of himself. He hid it well, and no one knew. Though sometimes Ginny would look   
at him with eyes that said you're not fooling anyone. She was wrong he knew,   
for it seemed that he had fooled everyone. Everyone but Ginny. He acted strong   
and so they believed him. They needed him to be strong and in the end he would   
die because of it. He knew this. He accepted it. He felt very alone.  
  
He had known since he was in his first year that he would never grow old   
and gray with his friends. He would someday die to save them, and to save the   
thousand of nameless faces that had one day lifted their glasses and toasted,   
"To Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived." He had never asked for that, and it made   
him bitter. That his life could be so insignificant that it would matter to no   
one unless one day he gave it up so that they all could live. He would do this   
for them, mostly because he could think of no good reason not to. He had a   
happy life. He had good friends. He wanted her to love him the way he loved   
her until the day he would die. It would not be a terribly long wait, he   
reasoned, there would not be much commitment involved. But he also knew that   
when she fell, it would be completely. And if it were for him...he would   
destroy her utterly. She did not deserve that.  
  
In a way Harry longed to make peace with his life and everything in it.   
Even with Draco Malfoy. Perhaps before he died he would speak t Draco and tell   
him: I'm giving you what you want. So let's put the past behind us. Then he   
would shake Draco's hand and go die.  
  
He honestly believed that he was in love with her. He watched her grow   
and mature. He loved that he knew everything about her, every line, contour,   
and wrinkle. In his mind, he always found himself finishing her sentences in   
his head, he knew her so well.  
  
"...cause you know, for you I'd bleed myself dry..." Whenever he heard that   
song he thought of her. "...for you I'd bleed myself dry." He would someday.   
He would die so that she could live. And somehow, that made it worthwhile. It   
made it alright. It made him ready.   
  
"...Remember what we've said  
and done   
and felt about each other   
please have mercy  
Don't let the past remind us of what we are not now  
I am leaving  
I am yours, you are mine  
you are what you are,  
you make it hard..."  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
He loved Hogwarts. He really did. If for no other reason then that she   
was there. He didn't know what attracted him to her, nor why, but he reasoned   
that perhaps it was fate. He wouldn't argue with fate.  
  
When the war was over, he would make her his own. She would go willingly.  
  
  
"I spend too much time,  
raiding windmills.  
We go side by side,  
laugh until it's right  
There's something that we both show,  
waiting with the life boats..."  
  
When he finally could have her, he would never let her go. He wished that   
things could be different. To be honest, Draco wished that he could have made   
his peace a long time ago. Especially with Harry Potter. He didn't really hate   
Harry, he disliked him at times true, and he was incredibly rude and never   
missed an opportunity to rub his face in the dirt. But it was Potter's fault;   
he did start it after all. If he had just shaken hands with him on the train   
all them years ago... But he had not and Draco had been thoroughly embarrassed   
and because of this the taunting and snide remarks had begun. And now it was   
too late to back down. He didn't really hate the Mudblood either, though he   
did find her somewhat inferior and true, he was even slightly embarrassed that   
she had beaten him out in every exam. Draco never meant the things he said,   
even the things he said to his closest friends and family. He acted as his   
name commanded but secretly, he wished to be different. To even be a part of   
the terrible trio. He could replace Weasley...he would probably never like   
him. He would try perhaps, but not for a long time. He would make peace with   
Harry, before he died. He knew that Potter would die, and in so many ways   
that he had already. But it was not his problem really, but he would make   
amends before his death. For Potter's peace of mind...and his own.  
When the time came, he would make his peace with everyone, he would go   
to her and ask for her love. He was confident that she would say yes. Why   
wouldn't she? He saw the way she looked at him, and unlike himself, she made   
no real attempt to hide it. He would try to bring some honor to his name, so   
that she would never have to be tainted by it. She that sometimes snuck out   
to the Quidditch pitch and looked at the sky, at the constellation that bore   
his name. He would watch her from a safe distance, and smile as his heart   
soared and he repeatedly whispered to himself: Not yet, not yet. Be patient.   
And he would resign himself to watching her hair flow wildly with the wind and   
her beautiful skin glow is his starlight.  
  
"Spring's sweet rhythm dance in my head,  
Slip into my lover's hands  
Kiss me, won't you kiss me now?  
And sleep I would inside your mouth  
Don't be us too shy  
For knowing it's no big surprise  
I will wait for you  
I will wait for no one but you  
Oh please Lover lay down  
Spend this time with me..."  
  
A/N- The songs in this fic are as follows in order as to their appearance in   
the fic:  
  
1. Crowing- Toad the Wet Sprockett  
2. Sweet Judy Blue eyes- Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young  
3. Windmills- Toad the Wet Sprockett  
4. Sweet Judy Blue Eyes- CSNY  
5. Yellow- Coldplay  
6. Sweet Judy Blue eyes- CSNY  
7. Windmills- Toad  
8. Lover Lay Down- Dave Matthews Band  
  
*All these beautiful songs belong respectfully to the artists that wrote   
them. I take no credit for them whatsoever.* 


End file.
